Winning The War

Since I was young, the scale was my enemy. Every year, despite the opinions of others, my opinion of myself diminished, until my personal value, my self-esteem, was negative. And after the pregnancy of my first daughter, I never really lost weight. I gained, and gained, and gained.
When you don't see value in your life, what reason do you have to help yourself be healthier? 
The lower my self-esteem became, the higher my weight went up. I fed my depression and my anxiety. The beasts were hungry and I was their slave. 

Its a battle in my life to be healthy. It is one of my hardest battles.

Food: I hate it, and I love it. What others can accomplish with ease sends me into anxiety. Meal planning, shopping, trying to be creative and healthy. I hate it all. My mind shuts down. I get angry and frustrated. If I am not careful, I can slip and fall. Food shouldn't be a big deal. And most people aren't going to understand. But, sometimes, in my life, food and shame go hand in hand. 

Exercise: It sounds so good in theory. I'm great at making plans. But there are many excuses. I'm too tired. I'm too embarrassed. I don't have time. Even if you have done it for a while, it is so easy to get into the mode of not doing it. 

Fear: Is anyone else scared of a life out of control? Gaining weight, and the excessive problems that come with that? Death is permanent.

Motivation: What is your motivation for a healthy lifestyle? 

Society's standards-
     You see it everyday on most magazine covers and other media. Standing in the checkout line, all those photo-shopped faces and bodies staring out at you. Skinny models wearing so much make-up that it looks like they are barely wearing anything. Women working out, no hair out of place, sweating just enough to have that glow. You can say in your head all the time that they aren't real, but getting yourself to actually believe that is a struggle. Next to those magazines are the cooking ones. Usually they have beautiful, delicious-looking food that you are probably denying yourself because you want to look like those computerized women. Media shouts out "Here is what you should look like, but you should also be feeding this to your family." "You are doing it wrong." "You are not good enough." 

Opinions of others-
     Well-meaning comments of people who only have your best interests in mind. Shameful comments designed to encourage you to change. Careless comments that dig in deep like a shard of glass. Pulling it out leaves a trickle of blood and pain. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. LIE. Words are damaging and dangerous.

Health-
     High cholesterol. High blood sugar. Dehydration. Chest pains. Painful joints. Hurts to walk. Out of breath. Sick all the time. Difficulties recovering from sickness and injury. Depression. Anxiety. Stress. Stress. Stress. 

Truth: Here is the reality. As long as YOU are speaking negatively to yourself, things won't change. Your body listens to your mind. Your heart listens to your mind. And when your heart is hurting, your mind bows down. 
Your changes begin today. You start by exercising your right to speak positively about yourself. When negative thoughts enter in, smash them flat. Don't give it a chance to take up space. Immediately fill that spot with a counteractive positive thought. 

"I'm a failure." SMASH "I'm successful." 
"Ugly" SMASH "Beautiful" 
"Unloveable" SMASH "Loved and loving"
ETC.........you get the idea. 

The reality is that you are someone pretty special. You will make mistakes, like every human on the earth. Give yourself grace to fall down and get back up. Give yourself grace to learn.

I am still battling, but I know I will win this war. My struggles aren't as intense as they used to be because I had to learn how to talk to myself in a positive way. I have thirty years of garbage that was stored up. It is a difficult process, but gets easier along the way. 

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How many years of garbage are you hanging onto? 
It is time to clean house, my friend. 







Start now. You are____________. 

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